Background

Growing up I was a moderately active child. I ran errands for my mum here and there. Given my home’s hilly terrain, I burnt a lot of calories running from school to home and everywhere else. I was a very tiny child yet ate plenty. It is not an uncommon phenomenon to receive criticism for being skinny in an African household. I was the point of reference for everyone around or at least I thought.

Fortunately, I changed schools when I was in class five and went to a completely different location. The geography of this area was entirely different from that of my home county. Whereas home was hilly, cool, sparsely populated, rural, and underdeveloped, this new area was flat, hot, densely populated, urban, and quite developed. I remember how excited I was to move to this new place. Like many children my age, I enjoyed car rides and this new school offered exactly that. I no longer needed to run errands for anyone. My sole responsibility was education; commuting from home to school and back. The strangeness of the new place and my dad's protection hindered me from going a mile away from the house.

I was on the verge of teenage at the time and all factors considered I began adding weight. My body was changing and my less active life did not help to drift the waves. When I returned home during the holiday, I received positive compliments on my glow. I was becoming a fully-fledged African woman. So I continued enjoying the delicacies of my newfound haven. I can't explain how happy that time of my life was. I was carefree and did not worry about anything outside my immediate environment.

My vacation continued until I was segregated from the football team because of my weight. That teacher was awful. How dare he?

University Life and Self-Image

My struggles with weight became apparent when I was in university. By then I was engaging with the internet daily. I exposed myself to unrealistic Western beauty standards that interfered with my self-esteem. For a moment I imagined I would work out until I got a thigh gap. I would wake up every morning at around five and run around the school. This happened in my first year of University. I enjoyed the sessions, no kidding, but I got a really bad cold from the exposure to the morning wind. The cold lasted for two weeks which made me quit running.

I diverted my attention to other things on campus. During my second year of University, I started exercising in the morning once more. I was doing beast exercises; running up and down a fleet of stairs. I felt accomplished for a while but that also stopped. I did not notice any change in my weight but my mood improved tremendously. Also, my perception of life was more positive than before. My attention span increased and I was motivated to work hard in my academics.

In my third year, I moved into my house and enrolled in a gym. It was more like a tiny building with very limited equipment. My best friend was my partner in crime. I was lucky to come across our caretaker who loved working out. So he introduced me to the gym and we’d walk there together in the morning. The first days were torture. The trainer made us do extreme cardio exercises that caused severe muscle soreness. But we endured and continued committing. I always heard of the importance of diet in exercise but I was eating a cow for breakfast.

I remember a time when I tried to diet. My knowledge was meager and my goal wrong. I hoped that if I could eliminate carbohydrates from my diet, I’d reach the goal I wanted. Unfortunately, I ended up nauseated, sad, depressed and angry. I would also fall into binge eating habits that ruined my progress. It was also at this time that I decided to avoid proteins because apparently, I thought they were responsible for my acne. The results were crazy cravings that made me feel like crawling out of my skin.

There was little physical progress during my cardio-intensive era. As this went on, I started doubting myself and wondering why I was not seeing the desired changes. I felt like trying everything possible to change my appearance.

In 2022, I increased my cardio intensity but still, I was not getting where I wanted. I became stronger without a doubt, my endurance levels heightened, and my mood improved. I also gained incredible mental agility. Exercises assured me that I could tackle any problem that came my way and true to that, I did.

Mid-2022 I decided to purchase a pair of dumbbells and went crazy on weight lifting. My exercises became more interesting because I was in charge. I no longer wanted to follow a video that made me do exercises I disliked. I wanted to write my own exercises and do them for as many repetitions as I saw fit. This was an amazing era. I would work out my entire body and feel incredible afterward.

Changing the Mirror Reflection

At the beginning of this year, I decided to shift my mindset and focus on the big picture. My knowledge has accumulated. I understood that there are different body types; ectomorph, endomorph, and mesomorph. Ectomorphs are slender in stature, have less body fat and muscles. Endomorphs store more body fat, more muscles, and gain weight easily. Mesomorphs are athletic with toned bodies.

I am an endomorph which explains why I struggle to lose weight. Also, I gain muscles easily which explains the rise in scale. I used to wonder why my weight remained constant despite the effort I put into working out. Well, now I know that there is no one-fit-all beauty standard.

Today (24th October 2023) as I was reading “The Mountain is You” by Brianna Wiest, I came across a different perspective on body typing. Wiest points out the error in people who argue that endomorphs have poor metabolism. She applauds the ancestral makeup of such individuals who needed to store fat for survival. The same applies to the shortcomings of people with high intelligence quotient. They analyze everything and make inferences that at times interfere with the correct perception of reality. This is evident in the poor connection they develop with fellow humans.

Thirdly, I came to the realization that numerous factors come into play when determining the shape and size of an individual. Genetics is one such factor that influences whether one person will have a particular shape and another one look differently. In the same breath, nature is another factor that influences one's looks. Africans don't look the same as Asians or Caucasians. The mistake I made was to imagine that my thighs would be anything other than African. Other factors that influence body shape include activity level, diet, stress, various stages of life, and economic status.

Stress works differently for various people. Some people lose appetite when stressed whereas others eat excessively when stressed. I am among the latter group.

Finally, men and women are different. Estrogen that is predominantly high in women leads to lower “postprandial fatty acid oxidation.” This phenomenon leads to high fat storage in women compared to men who have higher progesterone.

This knowledge has enabled me to be more compassionate to myself and focus on other health metrics when exercising. These days I enjoy working out because I want to become healthier. Healthier in the sense that I have improved mood which enhances my relationships, provides a positive outlook on life, and increases my physical and mental agility. I also want to enjoy life when I am older and free from lifestyle diseases. Exercise strengthens my bones which increases my productive years.

When starting out, it is vital to embrace novelty. The mistake I made was trying to move too quickly to reach a certain level of mobility and endurance. Consequently, I became fatigued and hated my sessions. Now I know that it is better to adopt exercises that you like. Also trying new things is crucial to maintaining excitement and anticipation for exercise. Personally, I incorporate dancing, weight lifting, cardio, boxing, and stretching in my routine. Whenever I don't feel like overworking myself, I dance for as long as I can.

I wish you the very best in your effort to become a healthier version of yourself.

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By Maureen Naini